I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
