there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
