it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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