what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
