Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
