Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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