yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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