I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
