p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
