we're blogging at a bar
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
