After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
