Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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