just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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