DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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