I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
