He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
