how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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