HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
