Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
