I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
