He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
