and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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