How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
