how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize