is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
