Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
