she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
