she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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