Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
