You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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