its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i jhust puked up my retainher.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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