u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Randomize
