the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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