dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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