I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Someone came in the potted fern
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
