The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
