btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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