If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
