shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
