I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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