I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize