we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
