I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
