Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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