you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
