woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
