I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
