So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
