Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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