I want you more than these girls want KFC
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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