The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
