You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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