you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
