u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize