love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
