he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Life is so much better after having sex.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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